Life is but a drug...

Another freewrite... I did this one on my own though, this morning... over coffee... and I've got to run now. I have graduation rehearsal.

***
I’ll keep my pen moving, keep it moving just like we will be—moving through life. We’ll be moving alone, first college—but in my case, travel, then on to college, then more college and finally… life. We’ll be on to life, because most of us, including me, haven’t started living yet. I had a taste and that wasn’t enough. Life is like an addiction. You do it once and you want it more
More
More.
And sometimes you take a coffee break and look back on what just happened and you wonder where some of it came from, but then your coffee’s gone and you’re moving on again. Fast moving and you cling to little things that make some sense to you but not really…
just like the people in your life. They come and go—you cling, they cling and it’s hard to pull you apart now and then but
you
change.
And you didn’t know what to say but “I’ve changed, sorry.” And it’s all very surreal but they take it and smile and stay for a little longer and walk away because
this new you means
nothing
to them now.
So soon after this has happened, you sit for another coffee break and think: Look, they’re gone. Now what? But someone comes to take their place and you smile and drink your coffee and exchange stories of youth because you can’t call yourself young again. No more
High school
College…
It’s just pure life, but pure life isn’t good enough now and there’s no drug to move up to but sitcoms and beer and your fading, torn couch and
Wait, it’s just a coffee break and this new person sitting across from you who’s now your friend has the same nostalgic expression as you and they swill their coffee, maybe tea, and after that all you can do is smile sadly, or maybe pretend to smile sadly and talk some more and start each sentence with
I remember…